I thought I’d be better at this. I thought I’d write daily, I thought I’d post photographs, I thought I’d share my life.
I thought a lot of things. It turns out I didn’t know much at all.
This last year has been a big one for me, and I haven’t expressed it. Like so many other things, I’ve bottled it up, kept it to myself, and forgotten to let it out.
I have spent a long time thinking I was in love with someone close to me, if love is the right word. I was wrong about that, and my focus, my infatuation, my obsession, blinded me to what was happening around me.
My eyes were opened this summer by one of my oldest, truest, friends, someone who showed me exactly what being in love was like. I was happy, and it wasn’t until then that I realised exactly how unhappy I’d been before. She showed me what I’d been missing, what had been there all along. It was amazing, wonderful, thrilling, and terrifying.
I’ve spent my life alone, and opening it up to someone scared me. So, separated by distance, I held on to my old life. I tried to have the best of both worlds, when really there was only one world worth having. That was never going to work, it was selfish and unfair. And so, the best thing to happen to me came to an end.
I still have the most compassionate, caring, selfless, and strong friend, and for that I am thankful, but I miss her every day, and every night.
March 18, 2009
Slumdog Millionaire
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True to form, my local cinema is re-releasing films that have done well to
cash in on their successbring them to a wider audience, so I duly went along to see this year’s Oscar winner last night as part of my now almost-regular Tuesday night is movie night.I’ll say one thing for it, it certainly hasn’t inspired me to actually visit India*, but it has moved me one step closer to watching a Bollywood movie. The film was good, although I didn’t feel a great deal of sympathy for the main characters and found the direction a little too dynamic, but very good in spots. And the adult Latika was gorgeous
It also had a very catchy soundtrack, which I heartily recommend downloading.
Without a doubt, the film I’ve enjoyed most in the four or five weeks I’ve been revisiting the cinema is Watchmen. Benjamin Button was a little too long, but fun and ultimately moving. Valkyrie was a surprise (particularly Eddie Izzard as a Nazi) and if there was a fifth, I can’t remember it right now.
EDIT – It was Gran Torino. I was confused, because I went to a different cinema to see it.
*With the exception of the Taj Mahal.